Don't bother learning proper grammar.

The analytical writing graders are NOT supposed to take grammar and spelling into consideration. The abominations I read today -- which failed to even resemble essays -- have caused me to lose even more faith in America's educational system. A fucking eighth grader could pass the GRE with flying colors. What does that say about the education that we actually get as undergrads in college?

Don't even get me started on the far-too-obvious problems present.

This happens every year - I practically have a panic attack when I realize that it will be another decade (if not longer) before I even have a chance to get out of the country, or hell, even see more of this country. I haven't been to very many places in the U.S., and the one time I went to the Caribbean, it was a bust. That trip would have been much more fun had I realized that "gringos" get swindled by the territory natives... in which case, I could have made sure I had a lot more money available before heading down - which would have made it impossible to go.

In any case, once I finally get done with school, I'll have a hell of a lot of debt racked up that will need to be paid off. I already owe roughly $20,000 in loans to pay for tuition (after a nice scholarship). Yikes. I'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life if I even attempt to go somewhere. If I choose to no longer go to school for my Ph.D. (or Master's) then I can get a "real" job by next summer. In that case, I'd have to wait until I've worked long enough to get vacation, and hope to high hell that I have enough money put aside to pay for my bills and the trip. I'm not going to do that... mostly because I know I wouldn't enjoy it (my job, that is). I feel the need to get out, though. To get out of this state, or this country - to get away from home and have a semi-decent vacation. I start to feel so claustrophobic, and getting away is the only remedy. Even if it means just going to Minnesota for the day.

If there's anything I fear more than anything else, it's that I'll never see the rest of this country, never see the world, never have anything more than a mediocre life. Being alone forever is a close second. I don't know what to do. I've considered (from time to time) increasing my debt further simply so that I can afford to take a year off to travel - but then I'd have to start paying off my student loans, as there would be greater than 6 months between when I left school and when I start again. Maybe I should take a month to see one other place - but that still requires putting myself further in debt. I need to get out of here, but I don't have the time or money to do so. It's just too much.

Apparently, putting the pieces of your life back together makes one feel better about a shitty boss/job situation.

I'm going to for sure apply to UW River Falls for Spring, 2009. They've got one of the top education programs in the country, and yet the school itself doesn't have crazy high standards. I still have to talk to them about tranfering credits, seeing if my gen ed's will move over and what not to confirm it's worth applying, but that's looking like the most likely possibility at the moment. River Falls also wouldn't a bad town to live in. I was checking around for apartments and there are some decently priced 2 bedroom dealios in various places a couple blocks from campus.

What exactly do I look for in an apartment though? I'm not quite sure.

I may have a roommate lined up if everything falls into place. I'm not getting my hopes up TOO much, but it's cool for Tanya and I to be working toward a goal like that together. As much as I'd love to look over FAU's Art Education degree and look into living with Alexa, I've been told that the ONLY reason I'd be allowed to go down to FL again to live is if I can't get my honors gen ed. requirements transfered to anywhere but Stetson. And sadly, since the parentals will be paying, or majorly help paying for said schooling wherever it is - they get to make rules like that.

I perused the online classifieds all morning for a job for the fall as well. Nothing really promising sadly, as most of those jobs require degrees and or mechanical prowess. Neither of which I have. Looks like my best choice will be looking in the part time advertisements and just asking for buttloads of hours. Top choices of jobs to get:

1) Receptionist/Office Assistant
2) Retail/Sales (hopefully in a semi-interesting store?)
3) Hostess/Waitress

... cause I honestly don't know what else to do. XD Any other suggestions of types of jobs to look into? As much as I'd like to use my web and design skills, those gigs tend to either require a degree to prove you know the programs, or are a one time commission that I'm really not interested in doing at all.

I saw one ad for an illustrator on Craig's List and saw more than one for education positions. *sigh* If only. But I like having things to work toward. Mom's really happy that I'm thinking about it and all. I'm dreading asking Stetson for that pathetic excuse of a transcript, but... I'll just have to do it like ripping off a band-aid. Eek.